Meternity

I struggled to think about how I would review this book. Reading the description of the book I knew the main character would be selfish and the plot would be over the top. I appreciated the observations of how women who aren't mothers are treated in the workplace. But I still had to put the book down.

The main character was idolizing the time off and the commercial aspects to motherhood. She faked a pregnancy in order to get maternity leave. And she worked at a BABY magazine. I would have thought that she would have more compassion for the dilemmas that mothers have instead of idolizing the time off.

My dilemma on how to write this review comes with my own dilemmas of parenthood. Like many middle class women I've been told that you get an education,  a stable job and a long term relationship before you have kids. And then I've been in social situations where I felt like an outsider for not being a parent. And I've been in jobs where I could barely support myself on the wages that were offered to me where I had coworkers who were single moms. So I thought I would appreciate the perspectives the character had.

But I didn't. I am not saying that I am better than the character in this book. But I do think that feelings about parenthood get women where they feel the most vulnerable. People jump to conclusions about women who aren't mothers too quickly but they also give unrealistic expectations to mothers. Children are born into all kinds of situations and some are better than others. As a nonparent I am cautious about being judgmental of parental decisions because most people try the best they can. As long as kids are vaccinated and in school I have very little to say about parenting techniques at this point in time.

I think conversations about choosing not to be parents or struggling to be parents need to be addressed more than they are. But this book does no favors to this attempt with an annoying uncompassionate character. I don't blame people who are attacking this book for being unfair to parents. I agree with that sentiment entirely even though I am not a parent. A more mature writer could have been able to address this subject in a more complex and compassionate matter.