Thanks for Waiting

 

 

I did not get a job with a livable wage until I was 35 despite receiving a masters degree when I was 30

I did not move out of my parents place permanently until after I got married at 36

These are just a few of the things that I felt like I accomplished later in life than I felt like a “normal” adult did.   I often have found myself struggling with the terms that are associated with adulting. The dictionary definition of adulting is to participate in the more mundane things that adults do, which was popularized by Kelly Williams Brown’s book Adulting: How to Become a Grown Up in 535 Easyish Steps.  Back when I bought and read Adulting I remember having mixed feelings. I am a huge fan of taking responsibility for myself, however I know that a lot of the things that were in the book or all over the internet were making me feel like I was failing at as an adult.  However when I examined my attitudes about these notions, I realized that there was noting wrong with me. The problem was the way these attitudes were rooted in classism (like living with my parents and not having a job l with health benefits or paid time off) or in ableism (like the ability to drive and maintain a car).

So when I heard that Doree Shafrir of the Forever35 podcast was writing a memoir called Thanks for Waiting: The Joy and Weirdness of Being a Late Bloomer I was SO EXCITED to read this book. It was a breath of fresh air to read an account of someone else feeling behind what she felt like everyone else was accomplishing.

The first part of the book did read like a series Sex and the City episodes in a failing economy (only with much better writing and more mature insights). She directly acknowledges that she was doing this, stressing that for women finding a spouse is often a milestone for being a full-fledged adult.  She was very open about her struggles with fertility that came from getting married and trying to start a family later in life.

Making herself completely vulnerable to the challenges of accomplishing milestones later in life made it feel like hearing from a friend who not only trusted me but has also experienced the same types of things that I have been through. I read through this book very quickly because it felt like I was listening to a truly kindred spirit!

                   I am also posting this review on Goodreads